


I'm Walking Backwards With Cirno

by KB9VCN



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Gen, Humor, I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas, Parody, References to The Goon Show, Snippet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23423326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Published 31-Mar-2020; humor/parody; 500 words.For the31_days"Walking backwards with a bitter taste" prompt and the 2020Gensokyo Festival"spirit of Gensokyo" prompt.See also "I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas" by the Goons.This contains slapstick violence, brief pseudo-death, obscure references and complete silliness.  Reader discretion is advised.
Kudos: 7





	I'm Walking Backwards With Cirno

**Author's Note:**

> Published 31-Mar-2020; humor/parody; 500 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/) "[Walking backwards with a bitter taste](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/3512518.html)" prompt and the 2020 [Gensokyo Festival](https://gensokyofestival.tumblr.com/) "spirit of Gensokyo" prompt.
> 
> See also "[I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e61uC-5s9VU)" by the Goons.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence, brief pseudo-death, obscure references and complete silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

As Aya flew over a frozen Misty Lake in mid-winter, she saw Cirno and Daiyousei playing on the ice.

Cirno suddenly lost her balance and slid backwards. Daiyousei giggled, slid backwards purposely to catch up, and began to sing:

"♫ _I'm walking backwards with Cirno  
Across the Misty Lake  
I'm walking backwards with Cirno  
And I hope the ice won't break!_ ♫"

And then, Cirno also began to sing:

"♫ _I've tried walking sideways and walking to the front  
but people just look at me and say—_ ♫"

—

"It's a publicity stunt," Momiji said to Aya after skimming the latest issue of the _Bunbunmaru Shinbun_.

"This is no stunt, my floofy little friend," Aya said eagerly. "It's the newest trend sweeping the land!"

"Aya, you can't 'spin' two fairies slipping on ice into a story, much less a trend." Momiji protested.

"Gensokyo is starved for entertainment," Aya declared, "and it's time for me to SLING THE HASH!!"

And then, Aya left to begin her delivery route— backwards.

Momiji sighed, and then also walked away backwards. _Peer pressure is kinda scary,_ Momiji thought.

—

Marisa flew up to the Scarlet Devil Mansion front gate, riding her broom backwards. Meiling was standing guard backwards, facing into the gate.

Working backwards, Meiling grabbed Marisa and threw her INTO the mansion.

"Thanks!" Marisa said eagerly.

"You're welcome," Meiling said sweetly.

But then, Meiling frowned. _That CAN'T be right_ , she thought.

—

Sakuya was serving tea to Remilia. "Aren't you going to serve backwards?" a disappointed Remilia asked.

Sakuya took back Remilia's tea-cup, carefully poured it back into the tea pot, and walked away backwards.

Remilia stared at her empty tea-cup. _Me and my big mouth,_ she thought sadly.

—

"I wonder what Flandre is up to this morning," Koakuma said to Patchouli.

The library, and the entire mansion, suddenly shook violently, as if it had been struck by a wrecking ball.

"Apparently, she's flying backwards," Patchouli said. "I wish she would take care NOT to fly into the walls."

A loose book fell off the closest shelf and onto Patchouli's head.

"So do I," Koakuma said nervously.

"* _mukyu_ ~*" said Patchouli.

—

Mokou walked up to Kaguya— and found that Kaguya was already (temporarily) dead.

 _Being[deaded](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAS0PNa5zac) BEFORE the duel kinda takes the fun out of it,_ Mokou thought to herself.

—

Eirin leaned out of her clinic office and saw Reisen hopping backwards down the hall.

 _She doesn't usually do things like that,_ Eirin thought, _until AFTER I give her a Shady New Drug™._

—

Reimu was sitting at her _kotatsu_ , reading Aya's paper with frequent eye-rolls and face-palms.

A gap opened next to Reimu, and then Yukari's ample bottom emerged from the gap. "[Hello sweetie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_Song_\(Doctor_Who\))," said Yukari.

"Please move your butt out of my face," Reimu said with remarkable restraint.

"You're no fun," Yukari said smugly as she climbed out of her gap backwards. "In fact, [you're so unhip, it's a wonder your butt doesn't fall off](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Chapter_17_2)."

"All of Gensokyo is ass-backwards," Reimu grumbled, "in more ways than one."


End file.
